I saw a bumper sticker yesterday that probably everyone else in the world has already seen: In Case of Rapture, This Car Will Be Unmanned.
I actually admire this bumper sticker because it's so insane that it makes Christianity almost seem cool. It's like wearing a rainbow wig, but not just to a party. All the time. The first time you come to work with a rainbow wig on, you would get a few laughs, some head shaking and disapproval. What happens when you wear the wig every day -- it becomes an act of defiance. "I'm insane, and you can say whatever you want but I'm not going anywhere."
It was actually refreshing because I felt like the bumper sticker was also saying: "I know my beliefs are outlandish, but I don't care." Whereas, I usually feel that other Christian bumper stickers say the opposite: "I'm normal, and you're not." Have you accepted Christ as your savior? Jesus Loves You. Attend the Church of Your Choice on Sunday. Got Christ? And so on.
And, yes. When I pull up behind a car with ten bumper stickers, the voices in my head overwhelm me, and I pull off the road and cry.
PS - For some reason, crying in a car has becoming a hilarious image to me since they used it on The Soup. But I don't know why.
Monday, May 12, 2008
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9 comments:
Does that bumper sticker have anything to do with erections? As in, "Stop whistling, lest I am unmanned!"
Also, perhaps more obscurely, Debbie Harry should have a bumper sticker that says, "In Case of Rapture, this car will be eaten."
Are you saying that acts of defiance, like wearing a rainbow wig, are cool? I agree with you on acts of defiance, less so on rainbow wigs. Didn't football Rainbow Wig guy try to blow someone up or something? I think he's in prison.
I always thought it would be fun to have a bumper sticker that said, "My boss is a Jewish Carpenter" if you were a carpenter and actually ahd a Jewish boss or some joke variation on that, this has probably been done, that says something like "My boss is a Jewish Carpenter named Josh Finklestein."
I said it was two things: 1) insane, and 2) almost seemingly cool. But almost doesn't count.
So, you're saying that you are wearing a rainbow wig right now? John 3:16, baby!
He's just letting his freak flag fly!
I'm a fan of this bumper sticker as well, not only because it is slightly crazy as a religious belief, but because it is slightly crazy as a BUMPER sticker. It's not the people in the cars behind you that are going to be in danger if your car becomes unmanned in the Rapture. If you truly believe Jesus is going to whisk you away to heaven while operating a vehicle, stick that warning on your grill where it belongs! At least I think that would be the Christian thing to do.
Denise and I talked with our neighbors about this type of bullshit earlier this evening. Let's see, now, I'd estimate that bipedal humans have been plundering everything in sight for damn near 10,000 years now. All the while the little critters have been suffering. So, when God says "The Meek shall inherit the earth", does that mean when we're done with it? I'd like to take accountability for my life, just like all the mothers and fathers who wasted their fertility on these abominable pricks who assume that God has granted them entitlement to rape the earth and fellow man to glorify what short and meaningless existense they have. I also intend to gay-remarry my wife after one of us is willing to undergo the sex-change.
-Bud
Here's the new bumper sticker, "In case of rapture, go ahead and butt-fuck me, I don't care, I'm dead."
-Bud
Bud, I'm not falling for that again. Last time, I did it and you turned out to NOT be dead and then you and your buddies all laughed at me.
I was behind a fellow who had two middle-school aged children in the backseat of his car. The daughter kept giving me the peace sign with increasing determination, due to my lack of response. His bumber sticker read "My kid got your Honor Student pregnant".
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