Every once in a while I remember something from my school years* that teachers and administrators did that seemed normal or possibly a bit odd at the time, but in hindsight I now realize they were "mailing it in." Rather than actually present us with a well-thought-out lesson, they grabbed something that was handy. Maybe it didn't quite fit, but what the hell?
I believe it was one of those times when they showed us "Not My Kid," a TV movie from 1985 starring George Segal and Stockard Channing. I'm assuming they had to be in the movie to fulfill some court-ordered community service. Nancy Cartwright (aka Bart Simpson) was also in it according to imdb.com, but I'm not sure if she was the daughter or not.
In the movie, Segal's daughter ends up getting addicted to crystal methamphetamine and cocaine and various other drugs that were, of course, a plague on New Cumberland Junior High in 1985. The movie revolved around Segal's refusal to believe that his daughter did drugs even when the cops told him what was going on. When his daughter hits bottom -- and I forget how what they looked like -- he finally realizes that he needs to get her some help. So they take her to a fancy new rehab program in California, and she gets better.
"OK. Let's turn the lights back on. What did we learn from this? Your children, for those of you who have gone through puberty and are able to reproduce at this point, might become addicted to drugs, and you should enroll them in a reputable rehab program. Even those of you who don't have any pubic hair, someday you will, and someday you'll have sex. If that results in procreation, try to think ten or fifteen years back to when you saw this movie. Hopefully at that time you won't realize that I was up late last night watching Monday Night Football and drinking beer and had to come up with something at the last minute for today's assembly. Thank you," said some teacher (who may have "passed" by now).
*Though I'm technically still in school, I use this phrase to refer to high school and before.
Saturday, August 18, 2007
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4 comments:
First of all, are we really so old? I remember that it used to be "mailing it in," then it became "Phoning it in," now the kids all say, "text messaging it in," whatever the hell that means. I assume it's like phoning it in, only more gadgety and electric.
And on that subject, I have no problem with teachers who phoned it in when I was in school. You just can't be on one hundred percent of the time. But I do find it fascinating how much planning had to go into phoning it in. When I was in school, we had like twenty VCRs the teacher's could check out, so they had to know well in advance what they were going to do, which makes it interesting.
And what the teacher actually said, well... that's really, really funny. I like the equating of pubic hair with ability to procreate. Perhaps that teacher inadvertently started the fad of "shaving" your "Pubic region," as so many young people seem to do with their text messaging.
I'm sorry to hear about your teacher's probable passing.
Maybe I just heard pubic hair because we were all fixated on pubic hair at that age.
Incidentally, you've brought up this "young people shave their privates" a couple of times. I demand evidence.
Are you talking about girls like Britney Spears? Or do you mean people that you know? Guys too?
When I was working on the phone-in helpdesk, all the guys under 25 made fun of me for NOT shaving my scrotum. They called it, having a 'fro. I was like, first of all, if a woman was saying this, maybe we'd have a talk. Secondly, some things are simply to important to put in any danger, no matter how slight the risk technically is. So, I started getting it waxed. I've come to like it. Anyway, if you want some real evidence, meet me at that rest stop on I-79 just into West Virginia headed towards Morgantown at 3:00 am Friday night (Technically Saturday morning). Bring a shillelagh.
Shit my junk is always well groomed. I got tired of doing it with scissors so I bought one of those fancy shavers 6 months ago. Its great.
But I don't cut my armpit hair. That's fucking gay.
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